Apologies for the radio silence over the last week or so. Things have been a busy, and I needed to step away from Social Media and instead wrap presents, cook, bake and find room in the freezer! Decorations and tree is up, cards finally written and posted and Blogging can once again resume. I do have a couple of reviews I have to share and I have also got my Top Reads of 2020 sorted! Should be up on Wednesday. Anyway…

I am delighted to share my review today for The Boy Between – A Mother and Son’s Journey From a World Gone Grey by Amanda Prowse and Josiah Hartley. This is a book that is such a heart-breaking, insightful, honest and also wonderful read. It is a book about depression from the side of the sufferer and the parent witnessing it.

**Before I share what the book is about I have something personal to say about my journey this year with depression, anxiety and panic attacks. It is perfectly fine to skip past this if you want to.**

I had seen this book around on various Book Bloggers Blogs and while I really wanted to read it, my head was just not in the right place. I could joke and say that it rarely is, because after all I do joke about stuff quite a bit. This is one of my defence mechanisms, the other is going quiet and retreating. With the pandemic this year and lockdown, it has been a real challenge for me. I mean lockdown played right into my anxiety and depression. Keeping myself away from crowds? Yeah no problem! Not meeting with others! Yeah got that one covered as well. Then when the lift of lockdown began I found myself struggling, a lot! People were everywhere, I felt overcrowded if there where more than 2 other people in a room with me. I suffered panic attacks, to the point where I had to take a short time off work and also started on antidepressants again.

I know I am not the only one that is/has suffered, and I know that many still struggle. I am very fortunate in the fact that I do recognise some of my triggers, but some came out of the blue and knocked me for six. The thing is, on the outside I appear fine, I have a laugh, I can be quite loud at times, some of my comments can be a bit rude and I do have a filthy sense of of humour. My point here is, often people see what’s on the outside and not what is going on underneath the mask or wall that is erected as part of my self preservation or defence system, often times it has a mind of its own and does its own thing, that’s fine until little cracks appear.

Luckily for me I am quite open about when I am struggling, I have told various people that “I’m having a moment” and they know to let me be, wait for me to come to them. It’s how I cope and also to make others around me aware that they need to back off and give me space. Space is my thing, it is my bubble, it is My space.

Up until now this has been sharing with people who I see, and not with all you guys out there in the virtual world. I did wonder whether to put this out there or not, I mean it is a personal thing, but also it is something that is not spoken about or shared enough, by not posting this I am adding to the stigma that still shadows mental health.

So this is where I am, now.

I set an alarm in the morning so that I don’t sleep for 12 to 14 hours at a time.

I look at what I can control rather than look ahead at all the what if’s, I mean they haven’t even happened yet!

Each day is another day.

I know I am not the only one and I know I am not alone. You are not alone either.

Yvonne xx

Synopsis…

Bestselling novelist Amanda Prowse knew how to resolve a fictional family crisis. But then her son came to her with a real one…

Josiah was nineteen with the world at his feet when things changed. Without warning, the new university student’s mental health deteriorated to the point that he planned his own death. His mother, bestselling author Amanda Prowse, found herself grappling for ways to help him, with no clear sense of where that could be found. This is the book they wish had been there for them during those dark times.

Josiah’s situation is not unusual: the statistics on student mental health are terrifying. And he was not the only one suffering; his family was also hijacked by his illness, watching him struggle and fearing the day he might succeed in taking his life.

In this book, Josiah and Amanda hope to give a voice to those who suffer, and to show them that help can be found. It is Josiah’s raw, at times bleak, sometimes humorous, but always honest account of what it is like to live with depression. It is Amanda’s heart-rending account of her pain at watching him suffer, speaking from the heart about a mother’s love for her child.

For anyone with depression and anyone who loves someone with depression, Amanda and Josiah have a clear message—you are not alone, and there is hope.

My Review…

Right from the off I am going to say that if you have any interest in mental health, the effects on the sufferer or those around then you really do need to read this book. It is very insightful and also incredibly helpful.

Mental health has been in the news a lot this year, people are aware more of the effects it can have on everyday life, but still, it is not understood by many. Reading this from the viewpoint of a mother and son felt like a very privileged position to be in. Being allowed into the thoughts and feeling of individuals from different sides of the fence was a very personal view from a readers point of view.

This is not the journey of just one person. While it is Josh who to live with depression it is also the family that have to witness him live depression. What was insightful was how people think they are helping, but actually, they are not. But how can you help if you don’t know what you are doing for the best. It is a vicious circle.

This book is such an honest and open account, from a mother and a son. It is full of emotion, love, anger despair, frustration and all of it from the real lives of real people. Opening up and allowing people to see the journey of a family as well as an individual gives a balance. There is no one side to this book.

This is such a, well I want to say fabulous read, this feels wrong in some ways as the experiences of Mandy and Josh are anything but fabulous! But it is such an engrossing book, honest, with moments of humour and giggles. It is a book I would definitely recommend.

Many thanks for reading my post, a like or share would be a amazing 🙂